Amazing Things!
Dead men don’t talk.  Detective Waters had been on the force long enough to know that and so it didn’t take him very long to figure out that I was standing behind the dead man, talking in a silly voice and using my hand to move the dead man’s mouth so it looked like he was talking.

Dead men don’t talk.  Detective Waters had been on the force long enough to know that and so it didn’t take him very long to figure out that I was standing behind the dead man, talking in a silly voice and using my hand to move the dead man’s mouth so it looked like he was talking.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
Grace Hansen

bunch:

Depending how you read this headline it either means (a) that Fox and Conan are close to consummating the very deal that NBC was trying to block way back when they promised him the Tonight Show and created their latest late night mess or (b) they’re working on some sort of virtual/CG version of his show, hopefully featuring him as a 10-foot tall blue-skinned ginger (which technically only involves adding a few inches and making a slight hue adjustment).

[via]

“Nothing like the mess of an elementary school play to remind me to buy condoms,” I thought I thought, but actually said loud enough to interrupt the show.

“Nothing like the mess of an elementary school play to remind me to buy condoms,” I thought I thought, but actually said loud enough to interrupt the show.

daisydukes:

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

daisydukes:

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Gold

In the wake of Olympics criticism, letter writers from the gentle north roar to their country’s defense

Gom Goes Undercover!

Gom Goes Undercover!

Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things.
Douglas Adams