| — | George Orwell |
Whenever somebody says that bad things can happen to good people, I think about my neighbor. He was a nice enough guy, but that didn’t stop him from getting murdered. Of course, it works both ways. Sometimes good things happen to bad people – like that time I struck oil when I was digging up my backyard, trying to bury my neighbor’s corpse.
Why Jay Leno and David Letterman Hate Each Other
- just be clear, I’m on Letterman’s (and Conan’s) side. Leno’s about as exciting as watching your grandma clip her toenails. (Yeah, YOUR grandma).
If you end up in a special Hell reserved for really passive people, you probably know right away because the gate is held open by some guy who started to hold the gate open for a few people, but then a bunch of other people came and he wasn’t sure when it was okay to let the gate close so he just stood there – holding it open until he died and that’s why he’s a skeleton.
From, The Bible III: The Mystery of Barbeque Island
